I think most people start off TAKING whatever they can, not realizing that you have to go through a period of GIVING before you’ll ever get what is rightfully yours.

Let me explain…

Being who I am and my perceived success in this digital space, I become a target for social takers. I feel like a lot of people want to just TAKE from me: Advice, tools, queues, concepts & ideas, take my magic and take my thunder… OK, maybe I am being a bit dramatic but that is the feeling I get and oftentimes the approach people take. This type of behavior happens 80 percent of the time with strangers, people who have my Twitter account, Facebook “friends” or people who discover my email. Very seldom do I come across people who start off in the game in the GIVING stage except for a few years ago when a dude from my hometown approached me to help out by GIVING. I don’t mean giving in the monetary sense, but giving in the sense of adding value to what I was doing. He offered to edit all of my work and help me achieve a certain standard of excellence. This was his way of getting into my sphere and learning a bit about what I do and working with someone that he respects. We are still in this process and since he started out GIVING I feel that I can only GIVE back.

We take GIVING for granted. Of course, some only GIVE to receive, which I don’t agree with, but I think we should always give more than we take and we should repeat that step. When you are starting off in any game, make sure you give, give and give. One day, you will be on the receiving end and won’t need to take anything except for the time to count your blessings.

What Can We Cook?

Most people are of the state of mind that someone else is going to “eat their food”. That’s why they will not and do not support you: they are the type that will want to give you as least shine as possible, especially when you are doing good things. No one wants to have their food eaten.

What spawned this conversation was my approach in dealing with brands and the support that I get from my peers in this area. I consider myself a man with IDEAS. All of the projects and collaborative efforts I have had a hand in were spawned from my ideas and me asking these brands “what can we cook?”

I’ve never been the one at the dinner table just waiting to be served. I am part of Generation DIY: I am all about cooking for myself and preparing myself for my future. I’m not trying to take anyone else’s food: I am trying to cook my own… That’s why I’ve been working so hard, to bring you guys these unique experiences with some of your favorite brands and, obviously, the brands who believe in my vision, that would like to see which new ideas can be brought to the table.

I pride myself on pioneering the idea of digital collaboration and have found these to be so much more rewarding than a tangible collaboration because of its cultural value. I am able to bring my peers and friends, fans and readers in on the journey with me. Don’t think about other people as the ones trying to eat your food. Think of a shift in paradigm and ask yourself “how can we all eat good?”

Every time I sit down with a brand and they express interest in working with me, I ask them “what can we cook?” The end result is what you guys see in these pixels. I encourage other media outlets, blogs, websites and magazines to support my endeavors, for the next time you ask a brand “what can we cook?”, they’ll know what that tastes like and they can envision the best meal of their life.

I’m not sure when I became the go-to guy for advice but I’ve taken my given role pretty seriously. My peers always seem to call upon me when they want/need some career advice. What I’ve noticed from most of the people who approach me is that they are simply frustrated with the pace of their train. I believe that all of us are on a train of sorts. Some are of the bullet train variety that you find in Japan, while others have old steam engines that stay docked at the station and others are on your average subway that stops at every station, like in NYC. Regardless, we are all riding on life’s gravy train. When you start feeling frustrated about the speed of your train, focus on the ride. I think that when you start thinking about how fast your train is going, you actually slow down. Don’t let the frustration of the journey slow you down. Dwelling on the negative slows your train down to a full halt and when you get off-track, the train starts moving again… By the time you realized that you are off the train, you have to really play catch-up.

All trains slow down at some point but, believe me, you can always find a way to catch the next train to (your) paradise.

Realizing that we were all given gifts whether we know it or not is very encouraging. Discovering your gift is the most rewarding and the best part of life.

Train your heart to be nice & kind and your actions and mind will follow.

The question I get asked the most is: “how did you start?” My usual answer sort of goes like this: “I just started!” It is in no way meant to sound cocky or condescending, it’s just the easiest way I can explain it without going into every single detail. A lot of people seem puzzled when I respond that way but if I had to break it down that’s really what it boils down to. I think for most people it is a lot easier to measure what you have or don’t have and try to draw a correlation to your personal success or failures. I don’t believe that is the truth and my pastor confirmed my beliefs this past Sunday with his sermon. The topic was about feeling limited, and how so many of us are just stuck in that mental slum which prevents    people from being limitless. He broke it down for us in a way that was extremely easy to digest and I wanted to share it with you guys.

1. Start where you are.
2. Use what you have.
3. Do what you can.

I think if you start seeing the world through these lenses, things won’t seem as complex when trying to figure what to do. Just start where you are!

Last night I was having a conversation on twitter about mentors and I decided to put together a list of the 10 Things to look for in mentor. I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to leave a comment.

1. Selfless – Your mentor has to be selfless, they have to be the kind of person who think about others first before they think about themselves.  (Hard to find I know)

2. Character – They want to see other people win, especially you. Your mentor should be someone you respect and admire.

3. Experience – They have knowledge beyond your years and have no issues sharing what they’ve learned with you. Your mentor can be older or even younger than you are. The point is that they can teach you and coach you.

4. Patient – They understand the value of patience and growth. They usually allow you to grow and learn at your own pace.

5. Present & Available – I believe a mentor should have the time to talk and interact with you. If your mentor is too busy for you it defeats the purpose. When you do interact with them, they must be mentally present and not occupied with their busy life or schedule.

6. Visionaries - They are considered visionaries. They see the world from a different angle and can articulate their vision properly. They also think differently than you do.

7. Trustworthy – I think trust is one of the most fundamental parts of the mentor/mentee relationship. There has to be a level of trust between both parties it strengthens the relationship

8. Positive – They live day to day as a positive person. They see the cup as half full. These characteristics will surely rub off on you.

9. Direction & Goals From my experience they should be a in different profession than you or at least have different goals in life. It is not the rule but works best in my opinion. They have absolutely no desire to compete with you.

10. Believes in You – They have no issues telling you things you never want to hear. They believe in your potential and help you win at your own pace.

These are my thoughts on what to look for in a mentor. Please feel free to add or subtract from my thoughts. These are not rules just thoughts and ideas based on my experiences and the people have talked to about this.

Yesterday I had a compelling conversation about STYLE & TASTE on twitter. My rant got a lot of love and a lot of support. I figured I would share it on here for those that missed it. Follow me on twitter if you want to stay up on the daily conversations.

- Style is not about the name brands you wear. Style is about how you put things together. Link

- Style is also about vision and a unique point of view in my opinion. Taking risk, being bold and confident in what you wear. Link

- Style has nothing to do with your body size or if you are “dressed up” You can be in kicks and a fitted and still have style. Link

- The importance of style blogs are for style queues, ideas & reference points. But true style comes from within. No blog can give you that. Link

- I’ve encountered so many ladies who have the biggest misconception about style. It’s not only about the purse & the shoes in my opinion. Link

- Style is also about having an eye (word to JLP) Knowing what works for you and what works for others. Style recognizes Style Link

- People try to imitate style or other peoples style and they look uncomfortable why? Because style comes from within.

- You can follow trends or even mimic trends but I don’t believe you can follow style… if you know what I mean.

- Style is different from fashion and fashion is different from trends and trends are different from trendsetters in my opinion.

- Just because everyone is “dressing up” now does not mean you have to give up the J’s or kicks. That’s following trends. (not trendsetter)

- Style is also about being versatile in my opinion. Knowing when to wear a suit, kicks, jeans, jogging pants, boat shoes etc.. that’s style.

- Style is also about knowing Time & Place and knowing your age in style. Just my opinion.

- Just to sum it all up… You can buy clothes but you can’t buy style. You can be trendy does not mean your a trendsetter. (In my opinion)

- As you age, your clothes will change but your sense of having style should stay the same.

- My opinion about “taste” I think having taste is about knowledge & reference points. Things are good BECAUSE… Knowing what makes things good

- I believe “taste” is also about era and time. What was tasteful in the 80′s might not be tasteful today. If you know what I mean.

- Some of my friends who have great taste usually know the history of things and where they come from and their relation to the world.

- “Taste” is also universal but so deep. You have to have a vaste understanding & knowledge about things to have taste. You get what I am saying?

- You know when you see something and it just feels and looks right but you can’t put your finger on it? That’s what Taste looks like IMO.

- You might not have taste or great style but your killer instincts might put you in a position where you know whats good and whats not.

Follow me on twitter as I break out in rants at times ha! twitter.com/marcustroy

A couple guys on my timeline have been raving about the Temple Run app for some time now so I decided to download it a few weeks ago and I have to admit I got hooked on it for a few days. I believe the point of the game is to run through a temple (constantly) without getting jumped by the scary birds, scorched by the fire or fall in the cracks all why trying to gather coins for points.

I felt this game was a crazy metaphor or at least an interesting parallel to most of our lives. Every time I chased the coins I found myself dying a lot faster but when I concentrated on the journey and the path of the game, I found myself lasting a lot longer. Don’t get me wrong I am sure there are some people who can accurately achieve both but I think it is a lot harder than we think. Sacrifices have to be made and you might miss out on winning because you want to grab those coins.

I started thinking about my own life and how I’ve been able to navigate through life on my journey without necessarily chasing the “COINS” but by staying focus on what it was I wanted to achieve. The “Coins” represented all the distraction and everything else that kept you off your track. For some people the “coins” are the money, women (men), fame or anything else that could be considered a distraction.

Why can’t we chase both? Can we successfully chase both? Should we be trying to chase both? Don’t you end up getting those things anyway? Aren’t those “coins” a result or a byproduct of successfully completing the journey? I believe that the “COINS” will always be there, you might not finish the game with the most amounts of coins but at least you survive the game and get the spoils of winning. Then a flash of Jay-Z lyrics ran across my brain:  “I ain’t tryin’ to survive I’m tryin’ to live it to the limit an’ love it a lot …”

While playing the game I saw the “coins” as our greedy nature to want the coins over everything else and as soon as you paid too much attention to the coins and not where you were running, oops you landed in the ditch an died.

{From my thoughts on my Iphone}

My parents used to read this to me:

Take it in!

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.